And so it goes

Life is such a pain in the ass sometimes. It seems fate doesn't know whether to send me a huge curveball or give me a great gift. Life at home is good Kirk and I are getting along very well we seem to have worked through alot of stuff from our past and present and thats a good thing. We both need to come out of our shells we both have become people we don't really like ourselves. Living in California really took me out of my comfort zone and I kinda hid the real Mandy for a long time under this depressed bitchy person who was very lonely and very suicidal for a time that we lived there. I don't blame Kirk for looking to someone else for support cause I wasn't there at all even for myself. I don't condone what he's done but I honestly cannot blame him for doing it. But, the real Mandy is totally back and totally like the old her and is letting down all the proverbial walls she put up for so long. Kirk is doing the same we both discovered we no longer do the things we use to love to do we got too comfortable in marriage and thats a no no. I started smoking again and as much as i hate that i love it at the same time because it helps keep me more calm not to mention the weight loss effects. I put on a pair of shorts the other day I hadn't been able to wear in over 5 years! Big step in the right direction. Anyway yesterday I went to a family get together at my aunts sort of a house warming. She just bought a HUGE house its beautiful about 3500 sqft just absolutely gorgeous. Seen some people I haven't seen in a LONG time. One of my 1st cousins was there his name is Carey and he's a builder and he's looking for someone to draw up architectural plans so I mentioned Kirk and he's like hell yeah tell him to call me he can make about 3000 per plan sold which is AWESOME. Even if he only sells ONE plan per month thats an extra 3k every month that will so ROCK. And Carey is a very sucessful builder he's building houses in the VERY well off neighborhoods at the moment. So I know if Kirk got in on that we'd definately start making some money. We are gonna call them today and talk it over about what he wants and when . Saw my other cousin summer and careys wife renee they both have kids around the same ages as mine so we are setting up playdates and get togethers everyweek. I"m SOOO glad to be back in Texas I missed family life. I mean kirk and the kids are my family but i missed having the rest of my family around all the time to hang out with too. That was part of the reason i was so depressed. Anyway thats all I got for now yall keep your fingers crossed we can get some plans out that get sold. Bye for now !!