28 Now

So my birthday came and went. I'm 28 now don't feel any different really. We didnt' do anything and I didn't get anything for my birthday I told Kirk not to buy me anything because we can't afford it with school coming up we have so much to buy. So my birthday was just like any other day. Kirk did clean up the house over the weekend and did all the laundry and got me a card the housework was a great treat cause now I don't have to work so hard this week. Its been really hot around here lately up in the 100's the poor kids are so bored cause they don't wanna go outside cause its too hot. They went to my grandmothers house for vacation bible school last week. My grandma called me on my birthday and during the conversation she proceeded to tell me how lazy my kid is ALEX. And that he needed to be made to do chores and stuff which i DO make him do already. And that I need to put him in a sport like football or basketball so he can learn to play and work as a team so he's not so selfish well granny if i had 450.00 to pay the league to enroll him in those things I would put him in it. But you know what that 450.00 pays my car payment. I just don't have the money for that crap right now. Money is tight enough as it is we are barely floatin with a slow leak in the boat that i keep scoopin out all the water with a cup. Maybe some light at the end of the tunnel though . An online friend gave me a link to a work at home company and I registered with them and I have an interview with them so YAY i hope that works out. Even if its just a 50 bucks a week that helps a little bit. Of course i'd like to earn more though. Oh and I'm gonna start my geneology I hope soon. I asked my grandmother for a bit of information about her side of the family I found out i'm like 1/225th Cherokee lmfao. And I found out that my Great Great Uncle on my mom's side died on the beaches at Normandy. You know like in saving private ryan the guys in the Uboats coming off the boats and getting killed tryin to come off the boats. How sad. But interesting to know. Also my grandmother told me I was related to some famous criminals lol The Younger brothers apparently. I don't know much about them at this point but from what she said they ran with Jesse James , so thats both sides of my family now where i'm related to some criminal lol. What a family lol. Thats all I got to update on .................Oh and yall use my tag board I love that thing lol.

One more thing

to pity party about. Its my birthday on the 25th and this years is gonna suck just as bad as last years. Can't afford to buy anything or do anything special once again. SIGH oh well.

Oh yea

I should blog . Been a few days since I last wrote anything. My two oldest kids went to their granny's for vacation bible school. I guess I'm pretty boring cause I don't really have much else to update . Life is life and its kinda redundant right now. Nothing spectacular happening. I did however get a list of school supplies for Alex finally ugh I so can't afford it. Money is so tight around here I can barely breath. I hate it. Can't ever do anything fun cause "we can't afford it" . Can't ever buy anything we don't need cause "we can't afford it". When exactly will we be able to AFFORD IT. I'm just tired of being broke. I want to buy Alex nice school supplies and school clothes but when you can't afford it its really hard. Anyway enough of my pity party or i'll get depressed about that again. Anyway life really isn't that bad or maybe it is and i'm just foolin myself everyday so I don't get depressed about it. We thought moving to Texas was going to be just great financially and the only thing we've done since we moved back here is struggle. Everyday we struggle. Yeah we bought a house but what good is that when you have no money to put into the house . I have several things I want to do to the house but you can't do any of those things without some cash which i don't have. Anyway ok for real enough pity partying.

Mohawk

This was the cheesecake I made on the 4th

Favorite pictures

Zayden About 18 months old

Alex age 7

Alex and Zayden

Kai about 5 months old

Alex , Zayden , Kai at the zoo


These are my fave pictures of the boys TAG EVERYONE to post their fav pics!~!

Ive Learned

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness, and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

Kinda Boring

This weekend was kinda boring we didn't do much. We stayed home and relaxed cause last weekend was so hectic. One new thing was I found a cyst under my armpit while i was shaving which appeared like overnight it seems. So I'm going to give it two weeks and if it doesn't go away i'm gonna go to see a doctor about it. I hope maybe its just an ingrown hair or something that will go away hell i dunno. I don't think I posted this before but I lost the big diamond out of my wedding ring :( i'm not sure where either. The day I noticed it we had been to the waterpark up the street and outside and inside the house and I haven't come across it in the house so I just have to assume i lost it at the waterpark. Anyway it was a slow weekend not much to report. My marriage is getting stronger we seem to communicate alot better and Kirk said he noticed I seemed happier and he has too. So I guess Dr phil's book is helping. Not to mention the fact we've had sex ever night since then lol. You know I realized I never let my sex drive come out I always wanted to have sex but I was always so angry with stupid shit i never let it out. And now that I have OMG . Kirk asked me so how long is this burst of sex drive going to last and i said well considering I ALWAYS had it and never let it out its probably gonna last a while. He's in heaven i think lmfao. Anyway yall don't need to know all my details. Only about a month left before school starts THANK GAWD. I don't think I can take it much longer anyway. I got paid for my research thing I did it was 100 bucks woohooo. And today we have some guy from a window company coming out to do an estimate. We get 100 bucks just for letting him measure our windows and pitch us. (i'm good at saying no i just want the 100 bucks) a friend of kirks at work gave them our number so we could both make 100 bucks which is cool i can always use 100 bucks lol. Anyway thats all i got for now maybe somethin else will pop up during the day.

Why

WHY AM I MARRIED? I don't really feel like this but i think this is hilarious!


You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."


A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray
for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

Testing Blinkies

By your side

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me
ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me
ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold
i'll be there hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there by your side baby
oh when you're cold
i'll be there hold you tight to me
oh when you're low
i'll be there by your side baby

Sade: By your Side

Everything is Not what it Seems

You know your kidding yourself when you can't even blog about whats really going on in your life. This past few days of my life have been really mind blowing and eye opening. Lemme start from July 3rd, This day was spent at my dad's house at a birthday party he was throwing for one of his friends son who was turning 9 his name is dylan spoiled little brat he was. His dad kept getting on to him and he just continued to act just like a little shit the entire time. His mom and dad are divorced and he has been living with his mom and grandma and his grandmother AND his mom are mentally ill and they dont' disipline him and just recently the mother has given custody of him to his father just out of the blue dropped him off and walked away. Its really sad actually but now the father is trying to get his butt in line cause he's just a mouthy brat. So during the party the father is telling the kid who won't eat anything cause he wants CAKE and proceeds to throw a fit to eat something else and how everyone was here for him and he should appreciate it blah blah blah went in one ear and out the other with this kid. His father walked away so frustrated so ME being the big mouth I am spoke up cause you know what In my family circle and friends we do that when our kids step out of line. I expect someone to correct my kids if they are out of line VERBALLY. Anyway his dad walked off and you could tell he was at his wits end so I leaned over at the table to dylan and i said " HEY your dad practically bent over backwards to give you this party and cook all this food so that you could have a nice birthday and your giving him nothing but crap and you need to act right and apologize to him or I'll take my kids and go home, Because I don't want my kids hanging around with a kid thats going to be ungreatful to the people who are here for him giving him presents and spending our time on him." He got up and said yes maam and went and apologized to his dad. It was so cool that he did that he still acted up the rest of the day though. Can't always win them all but that one time he apologized was worth a million bucks to that dad. Anyway we spent all day there the kids had a blast. Then on the 4th we went and spent the day at my grandmothers house. Kirks mom was suppost to come over that night to watch fireworks but she called that morning and said that she wasn't up to going anywhere she had been to the cemetery to visit her mothers grave and just wanted to stay home. So we went to my grandmas and ate and swam and spent time with my family. I had previously told Kirk that we were going to watch fireworks at home cause they have them right down the road from us but IN my head i was thinking whats the point of leaving my grandmothers house early since his mom wasn't coming but i didn't say that outloud don't ask me why cause i don't know. Keep that in mind cause it will prove that it started a huge uproar later. Anyway we all went swimming that day almost my entire family, Kirk however didn't want to swim and I kept callin him a party pooper, I just wanted him to come out and spend time with me like everyone else but he wouldn't and it made him upset that I kept saying he was poopin out on us. 6pm rolls around and Kirk gets this look on his face like he wants to leave he's mopeing around giving me dirty looks ect.. So i finally gather the kids up and their things and angrily get everyone ready and my grandmother asks me whats wrong and I say "I don't want to leave but kirk does so we have to leave" so i continue to get the rest of our stuff together and we leave and I cried leaving their house because I wanted to stay. I didn't talk to kirk the entire way home which is an hour drive. So we get home we are both on edge and pissed off. We walk down to watch fireworks down the street we thought we would be able to see them from our house but its a little further down than we thought so we just walked up there no big deal. The fireworks were awesome I got emotional during them. Then all hell breaks lose. Alex starts vomiting while the fireworks were going on The heat and him eating nothing but junk food all day long didn't suit him very well. One of the strollers Wheels broke off so we had to push a stroller with 3 wheels home which SUCKED. We get home get the kids to bed. Sit down in front of the tv hardly speaking and I say "i don't know how to say this so i'm just going to come out and say it, I don't think this is going to work" Kirk looked at me and said nope its not. He knew exactly what i was talking about. Our marriage was in trouble and ive been sugar coating everything to make it seem like soemthing its not. Neither of us are very happy with how things are right now. Anyway to make a long story short since this is already long enough I almost left kirk. But i'm still here so we are trying. There were a few things we found out that needed to be changed and Kirk was willing to work through this with me and right now everything is good. He wants me to be how i was when we first got married and I wanna be like that girl too but he keeps forcing that girl to stay away cause he makes fun of her and ive just learned to hide her well in front of him. So i'm working on bringing her back out which I need and he's working on not making fun of that girl so i'm not afraid to bring her out. Also we have both agreed to work through the Relationship Rescue Dr Phil book and I have to tell you its the best thing. Ive learned so much stuff that and he's learned so much stuff that we needed to know long ago. Just feelings about one another that we should have known so we could have fixed these issues instead of letting them get so out of control we were ready to just say fuck it i'm done. But now we are fixing them and I feel so much relief that its all out in the open. No more hiding something that wasn't working. NOW its working but we have ALOT still to work on. But RIGHT NOW its GOOD for once. I feel like ME finally. Like i don't have to hide myself . I'm done hiding now its time for the real Mandy to stand up.