Alex's School Pic

Zayden's Fall Picture

Kai's Fall Picture

So How the hell are ya?

So yeah I haven't updated in like forever lots has happened though. I'm now a full time college student I'm taking two classes at the moment an English Persuasive Writing class and Internet Technology Distance Learning which I have to take since I'm doing alot of this online. So far its easy honestly I think actually going to a class is easier least there you dont' have kids yelling in the background while your trying to read or do an assignment. Kids are doing great Zayden and Kai had doctors appointments last week they got shots Z got his last shots he needed to start kindergarten and Kai got his first series and here comes the BAD MOM part they both got TB tests done and dumbass mom forgot to take them back to get them read so now they will have to do it again eventually *smacks self*. I don't know where the hell my brain was but it sure as hell wasn't doing a good mommy job last week. I bought a bunch of new clothes I desperately needed them I have got rid of all the stuff that was too big for me and some of the stuff that was too small so I had very little clothes I could wear. Kirk got another raise at work wooohoooo and he will be getting a HUGE bonus at christmas time prolly a few weeks before christmas! Financially we are pretty caught up not much left to get caught up. We do have to pay back a loan from kirks mom she loaned us 400 bucks and said pay her back whenever so we wanna get that paid back ASAP. I also had to put one of our dogs down the old white dog just was at the end of his days honestly he was suffering and so I had him put to sleep :( So now we are looking for dachshunds to keep our baby girl lexie happy I wanna get a puppy so she has a baby to take care of I think she would be a good momma to a puppy. But everyone wants 200 bucks for a dachshund puppy so I'm gonna wait till my dad's neighbors dachshund has her puppies she's promised me two of them and I'll probably be able to have them around christmas. I'd love to get two girls then i'd have three girls and three boys lol . Anyway not much else to report things are going pretty good and I'm pretty busy with the boys and school and kirk workin all the damn time. So thats all for now i'll try to update more often but don't count on it lol.

Alex and Kai smiling . Heres a bunch of pics I took today at the zoo we had a great time enjoy the pics! 

Blue Macaw 

Kangaroo Jack 

Alex with his eyes closed on the Monitor Lizard 

Zayden taking his turn on the monitor lizard 

Kai Laughing at the Monitor lizard 

Kai on the Monitor Lizard 

Bald Eagle 

This is Baby Jaguar, Well this is what we called him since z HAD to see baby jaguar like on Go Diego Go. It is actually a baby jaguar aint he cute. 

a really cool picture of a windmill i took damn i'm a good photographer lol 

zayden feeding cockatials 

zayden striking a pose in the bird feeding area 

alex feeding a parakeet 

Our day at the zoo 

Kai's Cast

Oh yeah I almost forgot This is Kai the day before he got his cast off . He got it taken off on Monday. Notice the flames Kirk drew on it and the amount of DIRT that stuck to the damn thing it was NASTY. Thats what happens when your middle child decides he's going to dump dirt all over his brothers cast cause its fun. When they took it off their was dirt all around both openings and it was clean in the middle but it smelled like dirty feet ewww lol. He's great now though apparently when he broke it he must have twisted his leg somehow cause the doctor said he had new bone growth all the way up the bone on the inside like it had cracked INSIDE the bone where the marrow is. He called it a spiral fracture which I didn't like cause generally spiral fractures are a sign of child abuse but only in arm breaks. But he is great now he is completely healed he is walking with a limp still but thats expected and he should be fully recovered in a few weeks. :)

Okay Okay!

I'm updating :) Sorry for not posting in a while ive been slackin in this blog. Things are going good on the homefront. Kirk and I are getting along better than ever with a few fights here and there but hey its working far from perfect but working. Kai turned 2 he's s big boy now he's peeing in the potty every now and then but i'm not pushing it I don't want to push it on him and have him not want to go so its go when he wants kinda thing now. Alex has his appointment to the child behavior study clinic on October 24th almost 2 months after I requested an appointment I guess they are back logged, I can't wait for that to happen and finally shed some light on some issues. I really hope whatever they suggest, prescribe , works for him I don't want him to struggle so much its heartbreaking at times. Z is getting too big and too smart for his own good he suprises me with stuff he says and totally doesn't have that babyish toddler voice anymore he sounds like a big kid :( . Kirk got his first job from my cousin today the house is approximately 3500-4000 sqft and he'll be making .85 cents per square foot so when the house deal closes we should expect a check for about 3k or more YAY! We are almost out of the hole as far as finances go we still have a bit to go but when kirk gets paid for this job we will be out of the hole hopefully for good (knock on wood) and he'll do more and more jobs for my cousin and be bringing in the big bucks!! HELL YEA ! I lost one of my jobs today I was watching two of my friends girls. I picked them up from school and they stayed here for 2 hours after school . She apparently had to quit her NEW job because she was losing money having to pay so much child care. Her MIL offered to pay for her son's childcare(whom i didn't watch ) and her MIL backed out so that didn't work out but I did get paid for the two weeks i picked them up and watched them. Oh well I feel bad for her that she had to quit her job cause I know she loved it and she's tryin to get on her feet cause she's getting a divorce and this just made things 10 times harder for her. Hurricane Rita is heading toward Texas and i'm Terrified. I've never been through a hurricane before and even though I won't be feeling the full force of a Cat 5 hurricane I'll probably still feel the force of a Cat 1 or 2. I'm trying to prepare but not overprepare and freak out i'll make extra ice and get some flashlights and candles and drag out the coolers and fill those with ice the night before we have plenty of food. We also have to go to Lowes and get some weather stripping for our garage. Everytime it rains hard it floods our garage partially because our driveway slopes down and the water collects in front of the garage. You can't tell it slopes until it rains its not a very noticable thing till all your shit is getting wet in the garage after a good rain so we are going to get that fixed tommorow and buy a 2.00 piece of weather stripping. Anyway everyone pray for the people on the coast that this hurricane won't do as much damage or will downgrade. Our country cannot deal with another disaster like that again for a while. Everyone in Texas be safe!!! Thats all i got for an update tonight i promise to keep up on it better!!

Happy Birthday Little Man

So tommorow is Kai's birthday he will be 2 on one note its a happy day my boy is growing up. And on the other note my boy is growing up and I no longer have any babies that need me. I broke down and cried tonight because all the doubts I had about going through with the vasectomy came bubbling up and I almost started to regret it. The yearning for that baby to cuddle and feed and that baby that depends on its ever need to be met by you. The wimpers and cries, cooing, giggling, smiles, drool , baby formula, newborn diapers, baby clothes, crib, baby toys, tiny baby shoes and socks, little sockless baby feet, that baby smell I guess you get it .. Its all a distant memory now. Its sad but at the same time good. I can go on with a new chapter of my life Mom of kids not babies. More freedom, no sleepless nights except for the occasional sick nights which are quickly remedied by cold medicine. Owies, bandaids, scrapes and cuts, video games, trucks, DIRT and more DIRT, bugs, and more DIRT , fights, wrestling, broken legs and of course lets not forget the Dirt. My boys are growing and I can't stop it mom is feeling a little left out sometimes now. I sometimes feel I can't relate i'm not a boy I was never around boys growing up I don't have the slightest clue what boys really do I'm learning with them. And so the next chapter in my life begins.... Goodbye my babies and hello big boys. Happy birthday Kai my little man even though your my smallest boy you have just as much hold of my heart as your older brothers. I love you all more than you could possibly ever know.

And so it goes

Life is such a pain in the ass sometimes. It seems fate doesn't know whether to send me a huge curveball or give me a great gift. Life at home is good Kirk and I are getting along very well we seem to have worked through alot of stuff from our past and present and thats a good thing. We both need to come out of our shells we both have become people we don't really like ourselves. Living in California really took me out of my comfort zone and I kinda hid the real Mandy for a long time under this depressed bitchy person who was very lonely and very suicidal for a time that we lived there. I don't blame Kirk for looking to someone else for support cause I wasn't there at all even for myself. I don't condone what he's done but I honestly cannot blame him for doing it. But, the real Mandy is totally back and totally like the old her and is letting down all the proverbial walls she put up for so long. Kirk is doing the same we both discovered we no longer do the things we use to love to do we got too comfortable in marriage and thats a no no. I started smoking again and as much as i hate that i love it at the same time because it helps keep me more calm not to mention the weight loss effects. I put on a pair of shorts the other day I hadn't been able to wear in over 5 years! Big step in the right direction. Anyway yesterday I went to a family get together at my aunts sort of a house warming. She just bought a HUGE house its beautiful about 3500 sqft just absolutely gorgeous. Seen some people I haven't seen in a LONG time. One of my 1st cousins was there his name is Carey and he's a builder and he's looking for someone to draw up architectural plans so I mentioned Kirk and he's like hell yeah tell him to call me he can make about 3000 per plan sold which is AWESOME. Even if he only sells ONE plan per month thats an extra 3k every month that will so ROCK. And Carey is a very sucessful builder he's building houses in the VERY well off neighborhoods at the moment. So I know if Kirk got in on that we'd definately start making some money. We are gonna call them today and talk it over about what he wants and when . Saw my other cousin summer and careys wife renee they both have kids around the same ages as mine so we are setting up playdates and get togethers everyweek. I"m SOOO glad to be back in Texas I missed family life. I mean kirk and the kids are my family but i missed having the rest of my family around all the time to hang out with too. That was part of the reason i was so depressed. Anyway thats all I got for now yall keep your fingers crossed we can get some plans out that get sold. Bye for now !!